We’ve all been there – the dreaded first date jitters. Whether it’s your first date ever or you’re just getting back in the groove after a long break, it can be scary to dip your toes back into the dating pool. Here are 25 things to avoid doing on a date that should make sure your date goes smoothly.
1. Don’t talk about your ex. No matter how tempting it is, don’t bring up any of your past relationships on a date. Your date doesn’t want to hear all the negative stories and reasons why it didn’t work out. Stay positive and keep the focus on getting to know each other.
2. Don’t show up late. This is a huge no-no! Being more than a few minutes late for your date sets a bad tone for the night and can make you appear unreliable.
3. Don’t be too nervous. It’s ok to be nervous on a date, but don’t let it take over! Take a few deep breaths, think positive thoughts, and do your best to stay calm.
4. Don’t phone it in. Put your phone away and be present during the date. Talking on the phone or texting while with your date quickly shows them that you’re not interested in getting to know them.
5. Don’t forget your manners. Simple courtesies, such as saying please and thank you, go a long way to show your date that you appreciate them.
6. Don’t talk about your finances. It’s not necessary to disclose personal financial details to someone you just met — not to mention it’s in bad taste. Keep it light and upbeat and avoid topics such as salary and debt.
7. Don’t order for your date. Even if you think you know what your date likes, ordering for them can come across as presumptuous or controlling. Let them choose their own meal and order off the menu.
8. Don’t get too drunk. This can lead to all sorts of problems, especially if you’re not someone who can handle your liquor. Stick to the one or two drinks so you can stay present and in control.
9. Don’t bring up religion or politics. These topics can quickly become heated, so it’s best to leave them off the table. If they bring it up, be respectful and steer the conversation to something less controversial.
10. Don’t expect too much. Don’t go into the date expecting everything to be perfect or to have an instant connection. Have realistic expectations and be open to having a great time — no matter what happens.
11. Don’t forget your wallet. Splitting the bill is always a nice gesture, but make sure you bring enough cash or card to cover your meal. It doesn’t look good when you have to ask your date to pay for you.
12. Don’t kiss and tell. If you do share a kiss on the date, don’t tell your friends or family (unless they are really close). Give the relationship some breathing room and don’t put too much pressure on it.
13. Don’t be too serious. Have fun on your date and don’t take it too seriously. Enjoy the moment and appreciate the chance to get to know someone new.
14. Don’t text them before midnight. You don’t want to appear too eager and ruin the moment. Wait a few hours before you text them or start liking their pictures on Instagram.
15. Don’t rush into sex. Just because the chemistry is strong on the date doesn’t mean you need to jump into bed. Take your time getting to know each other and build a trusting and respectful relationship.
16. Don’t talk about your life plans. It’s ok to talk about your dreams and goals, but don’t push it too far. Discussing five year plans on a first date often creates too much pressure for both of you.
17. Don’t be too available. Being too available can sometimes give off the wrong impression. It’s ok to put yourself out there, but don’t make it obvious that you’re desperate or too easily accessible.
18. Don’t avoid communication. Don’t be afraid to speak up if something isn’t right. Clear communication is key to any successful relationship.
19. Don’t make it all about you. Ask questions and make sure you give the other person chances to talk. A date should be a two-way conversation.
20. Don’t forget to compliment. Compliments will help break the ice and show your date that you’re interested in getting to know them.
21. Don’t tell dirty jokes. This one should be obvious, but don’t make any inappropriate jokes or comment on your date’s body. It’s not attractive and will only make things awkward.
22. Don’t ignore the body language. Pay attention to your date’s body language, and adjust your conversation accordingly. If they appear uncomfortable, try to change the topic or lighten the mood.
23. Don’t obsess over the future. The point of a first date is to get to know each other, not to plan out your wedding. Enjoy the present moment and don’t worry about what the future holds.
24. Don’t ignore your personal boundaries. Don’t let your date or anyone else pressure you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable. You have the right to set boundaries and say “no” at any time.
25. Don’t forget to have fun. With a few simple strategies, you can make sure your date goes smoothly and you have a great time.
Relax and enjoy yourself, and who knows — something special might happen!
